Books are portals. Find the right one and it can take you somewhere. Most of the big events of my life occurred because I was willing to step through one of these portals into a new unknown. By clicking this article, you’d already stepped through one yourself, which will lead you into a deeper understanding of who I am, and maybe lead to a journey for you as well.
- Enders Game by Orson Scott Card – This book has influenced the way I view strategy and life. It is about someone who is highly intelligent, but also highly empathetic. By deeply understanding his enemy he can defeat them, but in doing he feels compassion for them and no longer wishes to harm them.
~ - A Field Guide To Earthlings by Ian Ford – This was the book that made me aware I was autistic. It is a book by someone with Aspergers intended to explain social interaction to other people with autism and Aspergers. I remember thinking it was the best book I’d ever read on understanding people and social interaction, wondering why I related to it so much, and then putting two and two together. This is the book I have gifted most to others.
~ - The Drama of The Gifted Child by Alice Miller – This was the book that first made me aware of the impact early life experiences and trauma have in later life. I have seen parts of myself in this book, and most people I’ve shared it with have found it highly related as well. The book does an excellent job at showing how even subtle forms of bad parenting – like only showing a child love when they perform well – can lead to problems later in life.
~ - Sit Down and Shut Up by Brad Warner – Bard Warner was the author who introduced me to zen and zazen (zen meditation). Sitting zen was one of the first daily spiritual practices I took up. I started when I was eighteen and did zen meditation pretty consistently for nearly a decade. It was during zen meditation that I first became aware of the feelings I had around circumcision that lead to my first film, American Circumcision.
~ - The Completion Process by Teal Swan – Completion Process is something I use nearly every day. I practiced it first from the book and at a retreat of hers. After becoming interested in healing work in my early twenties through things like zen meditation and Alice Miller’s writing (see 3 & 4 above), I spent nearly a decade trying every healing method I could find – inner child work, reiki, shamanism, etc. Some were bullshit. Some were life-changing. This was in the latter category. Of all the stuff I’ve tried, this has been the most effective.
~ - 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – The habits in this book are so ingrained in me, it was only after writing my own book that I looked back and saw how much of the advice I gave and followed in my own life came from this book. Now what this book teaches is second nature to me, so obvious that it seems odd to me when others don’t follow it, but that is probably because I read it in my formative years.
~ - Amazing Spiderman 1–40 / Chris Claremont’s run on X-Men – My idea of what heroism is was formed by reading my Dad’s Spiderman comics at age four, which he started collecting when he was four and began with Spiderman issue #4. I can still see some of those early covers in my mind. Both Spiderman and the X-men were willing to do the right thing even when it was unpopular, would not personally benefit them, or would result in others hating or misunderstanding them. Good role-models for a kid.
~ - 4 Hour Body by Tim Ferris – This was the first book to get me seriously thinking about my health. The book trailer got me pumped and generated massive buy-in. I’d always been a little overweight and felt like clothes didn’t “look good” on me. After reading this I went from eating processed carbs, grains, and sugar to meat, vegetables, and legumes. I dropped forty pounds in two months and went from being perpetually tired to high energy. Huge life change.
~ - Why Men Are The Way They Are by Warren Farrell – I read this book in high school, and it gave voice to many of the feelings I had but couldn’t find a name for. When men feel wronged, insecure, or afraid, those feelings are often invalidated by dominant cultural attitudes or beliefs. This book made those feelings safe and helped me understand why I was having them. It was what Alice Miller would call an “enlightened witness,” meaning someone who sees your pain and empathizes with it.
~ - Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu – I was introduced to this book by a friend in my hometown who I ran into after college. I’d just broken up with my girlfriend, lost the gig I thought I had, and moved back in with my parents with no idea what I was going to do with my life. He told me about the concept of “action without action” and suggested that instead of constantly worrying about what would happen, I let it come to me. I decided not to think about what I would do for a week, and if nothing happened, I’d go back to worrying again. In three days, a contact in LA called me and asked if I was moving out there because her company needed an editor. I said yes, and everything for my trip came together easily as if on it’s own. I carry this book with me whenever I travel now and re-read it whenever I find myself worrying.
- Honorable mention:
Trust Me, I’m Lying by Ryan Holiday – This book influenced how I saw, consumed, and used media. I’ve been following Ryan Holiday’s writing and book recommendations since he was posting on the old Tucker Max forums. His description of the media landscape has only grown more relevant, as has his prescriptions. Interestingly, Ryan himself has managed to withdraw from the daily storm of media to do things like write books on ancient Stoicism and live a relatively traditional life.
Books are a window into someone else’s mind. Hopefully, this post has given you deeper insight into mine. I encourage you to continue the journey by picking up one of these and reading it. Happy journeying.
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